Although interracial couples are now more common then they were decades ago, there is sometimes still a stigma and uneducated preconceptions of what it means to be in that relationship. Especially if you’re looking for a relationship through international dating, as those who haven’t had to deal with racial tensions may not think anything of it. We go through some of the issues that interracial couples go through and what you may need to know when you’re dating someone who is white.
One thing you may experience is that certain people will have an erotic fantasy about your race. These are generally born from ingrained stereotypes in your partners mind, but it can make a date incredibly awkward. For example, the idea that Asian women are always submissive isn’t always the case, however some people genuinely believe these stereotypes, which is why they are perfectly comfortable in asking you about them.
It is incredibly degrading to hear about these stereotypes from someone you’re dating, furthermore they’re confusing and sometimes it can be hard to know how to deal with it. Some people will never believe what you say and will continue to insist it is a general racial trend, but if you take the time to educate someone, then you can be the person to change their perceptions. Sometimes people just need to think of something in a different way, especially as it isn’t always the person you’re dating who will be subject to these thoughts.
However, if it goes beyond the point of, what seems to them to be innocent comments, then break it off. Having to deal with sexual comments about race all the time is exhausting and it isn’t always your job to change people’s minds.
Preconceived Ideas on Race
We live in an incredibly opinionated world and everyone has their own perceptions of the world. Race has been an insanely contentious issue for many years and a lot of people will have their own thoughts on what has been going on. Sometimes this can seem extremely patronising, especially when this person has no experience of being discriminated against because of race.
Some people will offer their opinions on whether certain things are offensive or not, without even having experienced that or understand the cultural relevance. Getting into a heated argument will not solve the issue, especially if this is your first date. It can be frustrating, especially when you experience these kinds of issues on a day-to-day basis. Most of the time you will never have to see that person again if you choose so and if you love someone and people around them are creating these problems, then talk to your partner. You’ll be surprised by how innocent people believe their comments are.
Negative Comments from All Ethnicities
Sometimes, many people who date outside of their ethnicity experience backlash from those who share the same ethnicity. This goes whether you’re black, Asian, white, some people feel a sense of betrayal and won’t hide their comments. It’s a strange phenomenon, but some people feel that you’re betraying the people who share the same ethnicity. Even though more and more people are getting involved in interracial couplings this can still be a massive issue for many people.
Sadly, there is no way around this, there will always be people who don’t know you, who will judge you. Some of your friends or family members may not understand your decision to date someone who is white. Especially when there is so much hatred in the world, some of it can come from fear and the backlash. But, if someone doesn’t mean anything to you, then it is best to forget what they said, it is undeniably hard, but it is your life. If your friends or family members don’t understand the decision, then tell them you’re happy. They love you and want the best for you, your decisions won’t matter if they know you’re safe and happy.
Even though sometimes it can be maddening, sitting down and calmly discussing the issue with someone can help. When you don’t sound like you’re on the offensive people are more likely to listen and take on board what you have said. Never put yourself in a dangerous situation and remember that most of the world is on your side, your happiness is the key. We’re here for a good time not a long time and you need to find your own happiness.
There are some of the issues that can occur from interracial dating, it may not happen to you, it may be much worse. Everyone is different, and your dating experiences are going to vary with one person from the next. Keep yourself safe and remember that you deserve to be happy, don’t let anyone get in the way of that.