How To Get Your Emotions Under Control And Reclaim Your Life


Feelings are the body’s response to physical and emotional experiences in everyday life. Being aware of your emotions can help you make effective decisions, avoid or take risks, interact with others, build healthy relationships, and care for your well-being. Although it’s natural and beneficial to feel things and express yourself, there must be balance. Failure to keep things under control can cause issues with your health, wellness, and relationships. 

Are Your Emotions Out Of Control? 

There are several reasons a person may be unable to control their emotions. Sometimes, uncontrollable feelings are the result of a traumatic event or experience. Some people react or respond in an unhealthy manner when they’re sleep-deprived or dealing with an underlying medical condition (for example, low blood sugar). Whatever the reason, it’s essential to know when things get out of hand. Take a look at these signs below. 

  • Emotional outburst
  • Feeling overwhelmed all the time.
  • Unable or afraid to express yourself. 
  • Consistently sad, angry, or anxious without an explanation. 
  • Loss of control (emotionally). 
  • Substance abuse

Taking Your Life Back

If the above signs apply, you may have difficulty controlling your emotions. Luckily, there are some things you can do to take charge and reclaim your life. Continue reading to learn more. 

Be Aware

You cannot manage your emotions if you’re unaware of what you’re feeling. Emotional awareness is identifying and acknowledging your physical and mental responses at any time. Most people learn about basic emotions and feelings at an early age, but as life and feelings evolve, they may have difficulty understanding what they’re feeling. 

Pay attention to your thoughts, feelings, and behaviors throughout the day. Keeping a journal of your findings can help you develop an awareness of how you’re feeling and when it’s an issue. 

Allow Yourself Time To Feel

When you’re sad, frustrated, angry, scared, worried, anxious, or depressed, trying to soothe your emotions to get through the day is common. Some people have subconsciously learned how to numb themselves and feel nothing. Although you want to feel better and need to continue with everyday life, trying to change how you feel or bottling your emotions can lead to more significant issues down the road. These concepts can cause you to have unexplainable outbursts or act irrationally. 

Whatever you’re feeling, no matter how good or bad, allow yourself time to sit in those emotions. Don’t judge yourself or try to rely on reason or logic; just feel. After enough time has passed (varies based on the situation), find healthy ways to cope so you can change your mood. 

Express Yourself

Don’t withhold or suppress your feelings. Once you’ve given yourself time to evaluate and feel your emotions, you must find a healthy way to release them so you can move on. Below are some suggestions on how to express yourself healthily. 

  • Write in a journal.
  • Send a letter to the person that triggered your emotions. (Even if you don’t send the letter, it’s a therapeutic form of release.)
  • Calmly talk to loved ones about your feelings.
  • Scream, cry, punch a pillow, or break glass (safely). 

Identify Triggers

Sometimes emotional triggers are easy to spot. For instance, a loved one passing away will cause sadness. However, it’s not always that obvious, like an emotionally abusive friend from childhood, partner, relative, or employer.

Identifying emotional triggers can help you develop a plan to avoid or reduce those people, places, and things in your life that aren’t conducive to your well-being. When you feel out of control, take a moment to evaluate what caused the problem. Finally, try to avoid circumstances that negatively trigger you. If avoidance is impossible, find a healthy way to adapt. 

Practice Self-Love

Lastly, you must remember to practice self-love. You can’t get around your emotions. You also cannot always control the circumstances that caused your overwhelm. Therefore, you must find healthy ways to shower yourself with love. Take regular “mental health” breaks, learn how to say no, develop routines for balance and structure, and pamper yourself. Part of self-love also means treating yourself to something nice and indulging in things you enjoy. Finally, maintain a well-balanced diet, exercise, and get plenty of sleep. 

Change Your Environment

Believe it or not, your environment could trigger negative emotions. Working at a dead-end job with heavy workloads and poor employee support can cause you to feel stressed, anxious, or even angry. If you’ve tried talking to your employer with no results, it may be time to look for a better place to work. 

The same is true for your living space. Maybe you’re a young adult that’s stressed out living at home with controlling parents. Perhaps your residence is too far from your place of employment, or the community has gone downhill. If that’s the case, you may want to consider relocating. 

Although moving can be stressful, you can use a home or apartment moving checklist, packing services, moving companies, and storage services to make relocating easier to manage. Once you’re all moved in, you can turn your residence into a safe haven that you retreat to after a long day.  

Get Professional Help

If you’ve tried the best you can to manage your emotions but still feel out of control, you may want to talk with a therapist. It’s possible you’re dealing with an undiagnosed mental illness that requires counseling, medication, and other therapeutic practices to overcome. 

If you’re ashamed or nervous, you’ll find comfort in knowing that millions of people with mental illness seek professional assistance. Also, many mental health professionals offer an array of service options, including in-person visits, phone calls, video conferences, or text messaging. The idea is to get you the help you need in a way that makes you feel comfortable. 

When your emotions control your life, everything goes awry. Although you can’t always control your circumstances or how you feel, you can prevent your feelings from taking over. Use the advice above to develop healthy emotional management practices to reclaim your life.